Friday, 24 April 2015

Crohn's Disease & My Guilt

I have lived with Crohn's Disease ( within the Inflammatory bowel disease family,) now for more than half my life & over the course of those years there have several experts coming up with the reasons we may get this awful disease.

One of them is that the disease can be hereditary. Whilst I do not have any family members myself who have either Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis(or both,) it does now make me a possible carrier of that bad gene if that really is the case.

As a mother of 2 now I worry all the time that they too may get this terrible disease. Knowing myself the terrible time I have had over the years before having my Illeostomy I feel the guilt at times they I may pass it on to 1 of them, or both of course. I was never told I should not have children of course but still as a mother I do time to time get more worried than others.

Brad already from time to time gets odd tummy pains. So rare though that they probably are just bugs he has picked up. But 2 points concern me. The 1st being that he is 12 years old , which is the age my own journey began - I only ever had the pains back then once a year  & for just a few hours. Not the intense weeks of pain I got by the time my problems were finally diagnosed as Crohn's.
Then secondly Brad had a evening in the Easter holidays where he was not feeling well & the pain he described was so very similar to what I have experienced with IBD.

I tried not to say too much because of course I would not want to scare him - he does after all have knowledge of how bad things can get when he has seen me at my worst - because hopefully it really was just a little bug.

He was right as rain by the next day so all was well. 

If it does happen again then I would take him to the GP. Just for a chat. After all with my own history of bowel disease I am not so much a panicky mum as just wanting to rule things out.

Of course no one can tell what the future holds & if either of them do get this then there is nothing we can do to stop it, I hope that my own journey with it will a comfort & help to them.

I try not too voice my guilt because what good does that do. I am though only human & love my boys immensely & naturally want to protect them.

If you have read this far, then thank you form doing so. 

Amanda x

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