Wednesday, 19 March 2014

3 Years Since ... & A Quick Update

Today marks the 3rd anniversary of my Illeostomy operation. This was meant to be a temporary thing whilst my insides had a chance to heal before they could reverse the stoma. At the time I was very poorly indeed. Crohn's Disease  has been a part of my life since I was around 12 years old., I was 19 though before any action was taken to do any tests & finally have a diagnosis. At the time of Diagnosis I had only ever heard of Crohns Disease once a bout 3 weeks before in a magazine. I had a lot of learning to do & even to this day I still learn new things all the time.
I was poorly on & off over the years & was lucky to go so long without any surgery. In Feb 2011 though things started to take a turn. I go into more depth HERE if you wish to read it. Needless to say after several weeks were I would spend half the week ill & then the rest of it OK before the cycle came again, things took their toll. I woke up oat 2am on 16th March 2011 in pain. The pain got slowly worse & worse. Several bathroom visits were involved , although after time this was not worth the effort. By the time the ambulance was called I was almost totally out of it. I would stagger to the bathroom & then have to crawl back because I was left with zero energy for anything. At the hospital once on a drip etc the pain did ease but tests showed that I needed to have an op to remove the diseased section of my bowel. I would then have a Stoma for , hopefully, a short amount of time. 

Things of course never go quite to plan. I struggled so much for the 1st 2 years with my emotions mainly. I wonder if things may have been easier if at the time of my op my youngest Finley was not still only 7 months old. I was away from him for a week & it felt like such a long time. Also because I thought it was only a temp thing that it would soon be gone & I could get on with my life.
I was always wise enough to know when the doctors said I would have a stoma for around 6 months that that would probably be always a year if not more. 

As you will know reading my posts -there is a 2nd update HERE - I have spent the last 3 years waiting for them to decide what the hell is going to happen & getting very frustrated at the different outcomes of each appointment.

I have had a lot of good & bad times. In the 1st year probably more tears than anything else. Lots of wishing that I had , had a choice at the time so I could decide against surgery. Of course that was never an option. My insides too damaged to be left be. A scary thought to think how very ill I was back then.

My moment of enlightenment finally came around October time when I suddenly thought how I had gone that far with my Stoma & had almost grown used to it. I have had no Crohns attacks in that time & whilst this stoma can be a nightmare at times, the pain of Crohns is much, much worse. 

Since then I do not give much thought to any of it. I see the consultant again next month but really I have stopped thinking that every appointment will lead to my reversal because whether it happens or not I need to be at that point where I am happy whatever the outcome. I am at that stage , as I say I barely give the doctors a thought anymore. I have a life that needs living & children who need Mum to be happy. 

It is crazy to think that it has been 3 years. Most of the time it feels like I only came home from hospital yesterday. It will be a day I will never forget probably forever, especially when I think how very ill I was just 2 days before the op.

Thank you for reading this
Amanda xx

1 comment:

  1. People cannot understand what is going on unless they have been there themselves. I hope you can get the reversal at some point but you are doing so well, not many would have coped with what you have and raised 2 beautiful children. Fingers crossed you get good news soon....